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How not to choose friends (Click to select text)
Honesty, loyalty, compassion, and fairness are all examples of qualities people look for when choosing friends. The look for these qualities in order to sort 'real' friends from those considered acquaintances. But what is one deems another a 'friend', and their choice proves itself to have been faulty? People should never allow a friend to remain a friend if the are not trustworthy, dependable, or if they are manipulative. True friends are never, or should never be, thught of as untrustworthy. for example, if one loans a friend money, for any reason, the money should be returned in a timely fashion. Accepting excuses only allows the mistreatment of the bond to continue, because the acceptor is allowed to evade reimbursement, and the loaner cannot stand against the reasons for non-payment. A second characteristic to watch for in determining friends is independability. One should be able to depend on a friend almost as much as they would depend on a family member. Friends should always be an uplifter, a guiding light; never should a friend belittle one's self worth or prove to be a detriment. The first sign of independability can be counted as an accident, but after that, it is not acceptable. There is no room for repeat offenders, because they will ultimately prove to be a downfall. The first time should take away enough trust to build an outer shell against them. Finally, if one allows another to manipulate them for a gain or purpose besides their own, then there is a problem with the friendship. IF a friend needs a ride, and assuming that the are not offering ot drive, graciousness, courtesy, and gratefulness should be shown the driver, not harsh words or belittling phrases; if the friend is not grateful at the end of the trip, it is too late to mention, for their goal is accomplished. Something must be ssaid ahead of arriving, or the manipulation will have taken place upon arrival. There is no turning back at this point in time, and the driver has unwillingly become a 'patsy', so to speak. All the aforementioned items have occurred in the writer's life, who lost a group of friends, having believed them to be close knit, and have petty differences become an impassable obstacle in their friendships. The whole experience has not been in vain, however, becuase the knowledge of bad friendships can be passed on, to ensure others do not run into the same problems in the friendships they forge with thier peers.
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